WWW.GETSCOTTKELLETTOUT.COM

Get Scott Kellett Out !

This site is dedicated to the Scott Kellett, his family and friends.  The purpose is to share information and support Scott has much as possible.

I have come to the conclusion that my incarceration was a very selfish decision on my part.  At first I could not believe that this happened to me, how sad, my life is over, excuse me while I play some county music and cry myself a river.  But as I start to think things over really think things over, I realize that the hurt and self pity I feel can’t even stand up against the hurt I’ve caused my family and friends.   I have caused so much pain and let so many people down that it makes writing this very difficult, just thinking about it at times drives me crazy.  While I can never go back in time and change the past, I can do a few things that are nothing but right thing to do.  I can apologize.  I can show, through my actions that I am a changing man.  When I get out I can be the person God intended me to be, but more important I can start that now.  I’d rather skip the first and go straight home and be what God wants, but TDC probably won’t allow it.  So, I’m going to take the first step right now, down a long and hopefully prosperous path.  I’m going to apologize.  No, not to all of you at this time, I’m going to apologize to each one of you individually.  A personal apology that comes from my heart, from a place inside me I have not looked into for a longtime, my soul.  And no better place to start this series of truthful emotions with but other than my Mother.  And so it is to you, dear Mother, and I respectfully dedicate the following to…

What does it feel like, as a Mother, to watchers son get involved with things and people that could either get him arrested or killed?  I have no idea, but unless you’re the poor, aching Mother, you can’t know.  And then getting the phone call, your son is in jail.  What is that light, at that exact moment, when you know he’s going away for a long, long time. 

At this point I think its best that we stop; step back, and rewind.  We will go back to junior high.  What’s it like to get calls every week from the school saying Scott’s behavior in class is disruptive.  Scott can’t keep his mouth closed.  No, Scott definitely can’t keep his mouth closed.  Anyone who knows me will testify to that.  What’s it like to know that your son has his own chair in the office because he’s always being sent down there so much?  What’s it like to know that your son is proud of his mile long detention list?  How did it feel when the administration told you your son wasn’t welcome back for is eighth grade year?  I know it hurt you, but you decided to take matters into your own hands and home school me, that way I would get the attention and education that I needed rolled into one.  You were doing so much for the others in our family, how you could take the time for this was amazing.  So rather than realizing the love you are showing me through this all I did was give grief and give you more gray hairs that year.  Too bad I didn’t take any of those assignments seriously.  Too bad that wasn’t enough to stop you from trying.  For my freshman year you campaign for me and got me into another private school.  I showed you just how much I appreciated you and all your efforts by promptly getting kicked out just a few months after school had started.  I shattered my old record that one, huh? 

After that, I had a tough it out in a public school for the rest of the year, it was an eye opener, and I know you didn’t approve of the quality of friends, or education I was getting.  So once again, you managed to get me into a private school again; this was the same one I got kicked out when I was in middle school, actually.  I did a little better this time.  I made some good friends, even played on the football team.  And then, as usual, I went downhill in no time and was kicked out for the second time from the same school.  I was definitely on a roll.  But I guess you’re stubborn, and still loved me, because all you managed to get me transferred to another private school.  This was going to be my final school to attend on the outside.  At first I did OK, grade wise.  I was definitely one of the principal’s favorite.  But then, I decided I could not live with your rules anymore, so I moved out of your house and quit school altogether. 

This was when things got tough on you, real tough.  I started using drugs, and of course, and all hanging around some very dangerous people.  It was a very bad combination; even then I knew it was a matter of time.  I would not check in with you for weeks, months at a time.  How many hours sleep did you lose wandering if I was dead yet?  The pain, oh the pain, I must have caused you and all you ever did was love me, and tried to help.

When I was first locked up and was in the county jail, I was scared to call you and didn’t tell you.  I don’t know how many times I picked up the phone, dialed your number, and then hung up when asked me to state my name.  Then finally I did state my name, this was after one week of me being in jail.  It was the most difficult call I’ve ever made.  “Mom, I’m in jail.”  And you response to me was “Yes, I know, your grandmother saw you on the news that night.”

Oh God….. I cannot believe it was nineteen months ago when that call was made.  Soon I will be celebrating a second birthday in prison, and I know that you will come to visit me.  You will even bring my siblings to see me.  You send me money to make me comfortable.  I doubt there isn’t anything you wouldn’t do for me.  Not even after everything I’ve put you through.  And now I realize, the pain, oh Mom, I know I put you though hell, and you did nothing to deserve what I put you through.  I definitely could not ask for a better Mother, although you could’ve certainly asked for a better son.  And from this point forward that’s exactly what I’m trying to be. Mom, I love you more than I can ever tell you in a way as words can do justice.  I truly regret so many things that I have done that has caused you so much sorrow. I want you to know that I, vow from this day to make my mission to please God and do his will.  Because I know that if I honor God this will also please you, and yes I know this will be a first and because you deserve it.  I’ll you that much.  I know myself that much.  And I definitely owe it to God.  Mom, I want you to know, you did everything right, you did nothing wrong in raising me, I caused all this, this was all my fault.

Words cannot describe just as to how I feel right now, but that’s all right.  I can tell you Mom, that writing this makes me feel a little better and I hope it has the same effect on you.  I’m going to take the first that Mom; I’m going to say four words to you that I mean everything from me, and as with those four words and a tears in my eyes that I will close this letter. 

    I am so sorry. 

Scott with his little brother Steven, Scott understand that Steven wants to remain 'pure' until he get married.  But does not think it was necessary for Steven to get a Mohawk and color his hair blue to keep the girls away, but is seems to be working. 

(Update dated 18 Sept 05)

Archive of Scott's Opening Statements

Visitors to Date